Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
