Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
