Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
