Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
