Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
