Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
