dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
