Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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