Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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