I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
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any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
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fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
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