she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
too bad you live with your parents still
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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