if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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