Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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