I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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