Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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