As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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