how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
