I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
