One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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