Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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