Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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