yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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