i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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