So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize