Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
