32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
