There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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