It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I currently don't understand fingers.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
