NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
