In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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