Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
