Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
