The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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