now i know why i became what i already was.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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