I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
