Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
The struggles of a small town man whore
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
