I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
