We need to rekindle our bromance
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
