Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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