I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
