Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
