my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she smelled like a LAN party
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
