Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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