giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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