I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
