I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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