that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
