I didn't shave. On purpose
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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