Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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