Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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