$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I believe in your delicious
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
