They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
