My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
