it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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