I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
