i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
