K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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