I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize